Two minutes for you to read and reflect

Our family just returned from a weekend of celebrating my husband’s Grandmother’s 90th Birthday. I don’t know what you imagine when I say 90, but I can tell you right now your image is likely a far cry from Grandma! This woman makes 90 look like 75ish and she does it with grace, kindness, enthusiasm and authenticity.

I think when you are 90 years old, it might be difficult to gather a room of 100 people to celebrate with you. Not Grandma. The room was full of friends and family of all ages and stages and some had travelled quite a distance to be there. There were more friends than family even, which says a great deal more at the age of 90; some friends she has known for more than 70 years. Many of those friends are her neighbours in her condo building that see her almost daily and make sure her social schedule is chalked full. This includes trips to other cities to watch curling or play in bridge tournaments. Grandma calls me to complain she does not have time to read a book these days, she is so busy, and loving it.

Every person could share time when Grandma had befriended them and she performed many acts of service for them. She loves to cook and host others in her lovely, outgoing and social nature. Always ready to give and lend a hand or lighten a load with her hands, even with her humour and loving spirit she breaths life into others.

The air this past weekend was steeped with legacy for me. I found the definition of legacy interesting – anything handed down from the past, but its synonym even more fascinating – inheritance. In the large room full of people wanting to celebrate an incredible woman, still going strong, what is she handing down and leaving as an inheritance? I have never seen inheritance this way before yet it seems a greater gift now than piles of money.

Perhaps it is the gift and rewards of years of commitment to relationship. Not just friendship or great family bonds, but even more encompassing is her gift in relationship. That is what I saw in that room full of people honouring another, one they call friend.

Medical studies are showing it is the quality of our relationships that can determine our longevity more than any other factor. The hormone Oxytocin mixed with Estrogen in women experiencing strong relational connection is actually an elixir or concoction for happiness and healing.

As I mull over this past weekend, having seen what is possible at 90 and beyond, what is my legacy? I plan to be as healthy and happy as Grandma is at 90 and maybe more with our generation of health care. But what will I be leaving? Am I sewing into my relationships and breathing life into people, or am I too busy and full of complaints? Which would I want my children to inherit?

As much as I believe in that future for myself, all I have is right now, this moment. So what am I doing today that is going to make that future possible? This past weekend celebration really has me looking more closely at where I spend my time and therefore the reflection of my priorities. I want to get ahead and make it big in this world, but none of that matters or is possible without relationship. Are my children going to grow up knowing they mattered most or that their mom put work and business first? Maybe we are not measuring “getting ahead” in the correct parameters at all.

What do you want your legacy in this world to be? Imagine your 90th birthday party and what it will be like, who will be there. What are they saying about you that mattered most to them, touched them? Now rewind back to the now. What will you do to create your legacy today? How will the inheritance you create be made richer today?

Thank you Grandma for the inspiration of a life well lived! I relish your legacy and the inheritance you are already sharing with me. I am looking forward to the celebration of your 100th birthday!

Aly Pain, CPCC, ACC
InnerPiece Team & Relationship Coaching Specialist
Public Speaker and Emcee Extraordinaire
ph. 403-246-2399 | fx. 403-263-8790 | www.alypain.com | aly@alypain.com
“Success is not external shining in; it’s internal radiating out”

When an old farmer’s stallion wins a prize at a country show, his neighbor calls round to congratulate him, but the farmer says, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?” The next day some thieves come and steal his valuable animal. His neighbor comes to commiserate with him, but the old man replies, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?” A few days later the spirited stallion escapes from the thieves and joins a herd of wild mares, leading them back to the farm. The neighbor calls to share the farmer’s joy, but the farmer says, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?” The following day, while trying to break in one of the wild mares, the farmer’s son is thrown and fractures his leg. The neighbor calls to share the farmer’s sorrow, but the old man’s attitude remains the same as before. The following week the army passes by, forcibly conscripting solders for a war, but they do not take the farmer’s son because he cannot walk. The neighbor thinks to himself, “Who knows what is good and what is bad?” - Excerpt from The Tao Book and Card Pack by Timothy Freke

For many years my husband Jeff and I have felt challenged to live on the monetary income we receive from his Olympic athletic endeavors. Athletes in Canada do not live richly from large corporate sponsors unless they are one of a handful in well supported and high profile sports. We have spent years trying to create buy-in for companies to support Jeff in his cause and in doing so, help our family pay for just the day to day expenses. Jeff is one of very few senior athletes in Canada that is also married with children, putting us in a category that some funds and sponsors do not like. We don’t fit the young, single and easy-to-put-a-number-on athlete of the majority and have had funding declined because of that. We used to feel sorry for ourselves and hard done by because of our financial situation. Many people shared in the sympathy and we felt quite right about how hard it was.

In today’s very uncertain economy, we have never felt so lucky to be an athlete in Canada. In offices where the lay offs are happening daily and pink slips are becoming in fashion, we are in a career where that does not happen. Jeff will not be ‘laid off’ the team, get blind-sided by a pink slip or have to clear his desk and leave the building. Our income may not be rising with inflation, nor did it a few years ago in the boom, but it is still coming in and that is great! Better yet, we have had years of advance notice as to the pink slip arrival and plenty of time to make a plan to transition. We began the one year countdown on February 19th at 8pm. Fourteen years down and now less than one to go!

So, in the years of complaining about the financial hardships of choosing to be an elite Athlete in Canada, to having a recession proof career in a tough economy, I quote the words of Timothy Freke. “Who knows what is good and what is bad?”

Aly Pain, CPCC, ACC

InnerPiece Team & Relationship Coaching Specialist

Public Speaker and Emcee Extraordinaire

ph. 403-246-2399 | fx. 403-263-8790 | www.alypain.com | aly@alypain.com

This past weekend my son had quite a health scare. We are coming out the other side now with God’s grace and healing, and the support and prayer of many. This has really got me to thinking about the Power of Prayer.

I have been searching the internet for studies on the Power of Prayer. It seems there are many sighted in the Washington Post and New York Times that both prove the power of prayer and have equal numbers of skeptics. These studies vary in detail from people being prayed for, and knowing about it, by someone in the same place, to distance prayer where the prayee has no idea and the prayer is half a world away. It seems in most all the studies there was a positive difference in the group that was prayed for, whether local or distant, compared to the group without prayer.

The skeptics say there are far too many variables left out and therefore the studies are invalid. They also say we are wasting government money on accompaniments to medicine through religious practice rather than looking directly for more medical advances. Christian leaders, in response to these alligations of failed studies, say that trying to limit something as awesome and powerful as God with science is pointless seeing that God is not bound by the laws of science.

I am personally saying that prayer works. I have not only had tangible proof of this in my life, but in the life of my son this weekend. My son had a basic flu virus for seven days. He recovered on day eight and went back to his usual routine. On day twelve, he found a huge hematoma on his hip. Within 24 hours he was covered in bruises and we took him to the Children’s hospital. The doctors found his blood platelet count, normally 150 to 400, to be a very low 1 with elevated white blood cell count. He was diagnosed with ITP and they quickly took a CT scan of his brain (he had severe headaches that night) and a bone marrow test that both came back normal. Then came the IV treatment to get his antibodies under control and help raise is platelet count. Within 30 hours his count was up to 25 and we were released. Another two days later he was up and around and eating well.

http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/Itp/ITP_WhatIs.html

During all of that hospital time, we were Blessed by having our church congregation praying for us. We have no idea of the exact number of people but it was over 100 and they were praying specifically for our son’s platelet count to rise. If you had seen the state of my son’s body when we arrived and then to be on the mend and released just 38 hours later, sooner than expected, you may also believe in the Power of Prayer. You might also say that result could have happened without prayer and I would agree. However, if I were given the choice of leaving things up to chance or having the big guy’s hand on this, I choose door number 2.

Today we had my son’s blood platelet levels tested and they came back with a whoping 230!! That is the power of prayer and miracles right there. Yes, for those of you medical folks, this can be a false high due to the medication he received so we will be getting tested again in three weeks after it wears off. I have no doubt that the levels will remain above 150, the minimum number.

Prayer works. I believe that and it works for me. All the studies did show some correlation with prayer and health regardless of what controls were used. So, if you were given the choice in a place of need of prayer or not, what would you choose? Seems interesting to me that in most cases of dire circumstance, even the most firm unbeliever will raise his eyes to the heavens and begin to pray. Is it a learned response, or are we simply looking up and returning to the one who created us in the first place? You decide for yourself but my mind is already made up.

Aly Pain, CPCC, ACC
InnerPiece Team & Relationship Coaching Specialist
Public Speaker and Emcee Extraordinaire
ph. 403-246-2399 fx. 403-263-8790 www.alypain.com aly@alypain.com
“Success is not external shining in; it’s internal radiating out”