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Take 2 For You

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Posts Tagged ‘peace’

Together As One

Monday, November 17th, 2008

I have just returned from Montreal after attending the International Coach Conference with 1200 other coaches from 43 countries around the world. This was a an amazing experience for me for many reasons.

I have been to a conference of this size before for a home-based business company and it was not the same. The feeling there was more about hype and making money while also trying to focus on helping others. There was an underlying fear about, “How am I going to make this happen when I get home?”

The Coaching conference has a sense of unified strength to it in a peaceful, yet powerful way. It all started in the first 15 minutes….

We began with a Navajo chant. First singing as a group and then in a round, all 1200 voices lifted together in song. The words are simple yet powerful and I continued to sing them in my heart and out loud for 4 days.

When you were born
You cried
And the world rejoiced
Life your life so that
When you die
The world cries and
You rejoice

Hearing 1200 people sing anything simultaneously is cool, but this little song had such impact on a crowd of coaches; people in the work of impact on the world.

Then there were the introductions of the countries. Each country’s name was shown on the huge screens going in alphabetical order from Argentina to Venezuela. My personal experience of having a large group of people introduced from countries around the world is in the two previous Olympics my husband Jeff has attended (www.jeffpain.ca). I have found those times very moving. A sign of hope that we can come together in a common game to give our best though competition, not war. As I sat in the huge room and each of the countries was read out loud, the coaches from that country would stand and we in the crowd cheered for every one. I had tears streaming down my face and no idea why at first. Then it hit me. I was, in that moment, part of something much greater than myself. A global movement that came together to learn even more about how to create awareness and unity. This was a group that was going beyond how to get rich in money to how to get rich in our spirits and lives, including the lives of our clients.

I am so proud and moved to be part of a group that is first and foremost about the betterment of people from the inside out. A group that is committed to a greater consciousness and transformation in the world, that we might still have a world to enjoy for centuries to come.

A large focus of our convention was the state of the world from an environmental and economic perspective. I felt truly naive as our first two keynote speakers brought forth the facts of where we are at on the curve and what that means to us. Did you know we are currently consuming the equivalent of 1 and 1/4 worlds?? Did you know that current debt of the world is 60 times larger that the value of what actually exists? This was eye opening for sure!

We had many small and large unscheduled discussions as to what our role as coaches is around the global climate. It seems we collectively decided to have an agenda. Now a coach is not supposed to have an agenda, because that comes from the client. However, I am adopting the agenda of the earth with my clients from now on. I am asking my clients to participate in the longevity of our earth in some way, whether they are individuals or corporations. I can no longer stand by and wait, while doing my part here at home.

Can you imagine the impact on the world of 1200 coaches from 43 countries asking their clients to stand up and play a role in the transformation of the environment and economy of the world? Now that is an awesome group to be part of and an exciting prospect.

What are you willing to do that is even more than you do now? How will you consume less and love the earth more? I have shortened my children’s shower times to conserve water (they would stand there for 20 minutes usually) and I am going to cut my material spending by 50% in the next year. I am also going to look for recycling symbols before I purchase anything and use only reusable grocery bags.

I challenge you right now to make a difference!! This world is counting on you.

Stories and Stress

Monday, October 27th, 2008

Everything I am to myself and others is made up. Everything you think about me from what you know is also a made up story. We are all doing it all the time about everything and everyone around us including ourselves in relation to our world.

I am realizing more and more the BS (basic stories, of course) that I make up not only stresses me out, it creates distance between me and other people and has me live outside of the moment.

For instance, in a relationship with another coach friend Gord and I, I have a lot of stories. I make up who he is based on what I know and what I don’t (oh yes, we all make up stories about what we don’t know to fill in gaps). I have stories about who I am in that relationship, what Gord thinks of me and what I think about our relationship. All these stories create my reality and have me be conditioned to stimulus of every kind. My reality is at least 50% made up and yet I hold it at the Truth in order to feel safe and sorted.

“Change your thoughts and change your world.”
~ Norman Vincent Peale

This quote was made even more popular from the movie “The Secret”. What if it were possible? I am not just talking about getting new stories, I am talking about going beyond the stories and conditioning.

My friend Gord and I were doing a coaching dyad at a workshop and got to a stuck place in the 10 minute assignment. I put up my hand to ask for clarification. When I was asked what we needed, I said, “Well, Gord and I already know each other really well…”. The facilitator looked me in the eye and clearly stated, “That is your problem”. You see, it was all the stories that were getting in the way. I needed to come from a place of not knowing in order to access what more was there (the Johari window is a great diagram for this). A place where I could go beyond all my stories about Gord, myself and our relationship. I turned back to look at Gord and felt the tears well up in my eyes. I felt a deep sadness about what I had been missing and the gap I had created. In that moment I crossed the gap to experience a deep peace, love and curiosity about this other being across from me. I really got how we are spiritual beings having a human experience. What a moment!

“What someone else thinks of me, is none of my business”
~ Wayne Dyer
I think this quote really speaks to staying out of the story and being present to myself and others.

Stress is all just stories and conditioning too. I make up all kinds of things about how I am going to feel based on how my day went or how my kids did (or did not :)) behave and what that will say about me. Oh, and I have to clean my house for the play date today or what will other people think?? I make up BS stories all the time that do nothing other than stress me out. So, with this new realization about going beyond the story what is available?

Well, I am sure willing to let go of a bunch of stories. Nothing outside of me matters so much and I feel enormously empowered to fight my perfectionist and all her stories. I want to be in the moment with myself and others and nature. The other day I watched the steam rising, swirling and dancing off my hot tea as the sun beam from my window brought it even more alive. Now that was being in the moment and the story about the state of my kitchen felt galaxies away.

How do you go beyond your stories that stress you out? Start by writing them down or talking them through. You will be amazed how many you have and particularly your emotional reaction to some of them. Choose different stories or better yet, let them go and make it none of your business from here on. Pretend it is all unknown and get curious. I know this will profoundly change my coaching as I now choose a perspective of not knowing anything at all and step more fully into curiosity. Try it on!

Aly Pain, CPCC
InnerPiece Life & Relationship Coaching

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