From being a troubled teen to parent two of teens, I hope my journey is someone’s survival guide.
I always felt different, like I didn’t belong. I could sense people’s feelings and see relationships unfolding around me in finite detail.
“Why were people so mean to each other?”
In spite of being a highly intelligent, creative and energetic child who excelled in school and sports, I struggled with deep pain and insecurity. That manifested into perfectionism, eating disorders, and anxiety that I carried most of my life.
By Grade 11 I was sinking fast and attempted suicide. I hated everything about myself and the pain of never measuring up and feeling unlovable was too much.
My fairy tale marriage to my childhood sweetheart, who I met at my family reunion, almost ended because pretending to be his doting and loving wife became too much. I was seething with resentment, feeling like a failure and didn’t know how to change it.
Our first-born son was different from birth. I knew as every mother knows. The family legacy of anxiety and OCD appeared again through him and was a mirror for my own mental health. I couldn’t help him until I helped myself; asking questions I didn’t want answers to and looking in places I didn’t want to go.
I spent 10 years immersed in personal development programs before becoming a Certified Life Coach and Certified Relationship Systems Coach; pursuing healing and learning wherever I could find it to set myself free.
My passion for empowering parents to connect with their teens began 14 years ago, along with helping top entrepreneurs, CEOs, and executives understand how to manage human dynamics and remove from toxicity from their corporate culture. It always came back to relationships, and you learn about those from your family.
I’m focused on my purpose and the foundation of my career, working with families to help them create healthy, happy relationships. When we get relationships right at home we can change the world.
I’ve been married to my husband, 3x Olympian, Jeff Pain, for over 23 years and we have two, incredible teen boys (and first-call Aunty for three teen nieces). We call the beautiful Okanagan Valley in British Columbia home and enjoy paddle boarding, camping, hiking, and tending our garden in the summer and snowshoeing in the winter. I always have music playing – singing along and crazy dancing or doing Zumba.
Today, I empower parents to understand and connect with their teens through honest conversations that create respectful, healthy relationships.
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