Ever say something and immediately know it wasn’t the right thing to say? The impact of your words is already on the other person’s face and there’s no way to take them back.
If you find yourself apologizing or backpedaling after something you’ve said, chances are it’s not WHAT you said, it’s HOW you said it.
“Why is THEIR misinterpretation MY problem? I didn’t do anything wrong!”
It’s true that THEIR emotional baggage may have caused a negative reaction. Worrying about who’s to blame, who’s right, who’s wrong, or who said the worse thing is a huge waste of time.
There’s never a winner in the blame game.
Only a loser: YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
You can’t control what other people think or feel (and they aren’t here right now). It’s just you and me, sister.
You can only control one side of the conversation: YOURS. So, let’s start there.
“I just want to talk without it feeling complicated!”
It doesn’t have to be! Simple tweaks to your delivery can have a big impact, so those communication missteps that spiral into arguments or drama can be avoided (no understanding of emotional baggage required).
No one can read your mind.
They don’t understand what you intended to say, they only know what you said (and how they heard it).
The win is YOU get to say what you need and feel heard without complicated jargon and THEY don’t leave the conversation feeling offended or attacked.
That’s why I put together a Say THIS, Not THAT communication chart to help you avoid the most common communication mistakes (trust me, it’s so easy it will soon become habit for you).
P.S. Post this chart in a highly visible place so everyone in the family can use it! It’s a great tool to help frustrated teenagers find the words that work!