The #1 Question Parents Ask Me

This past year was HARD! Almost harder than 2020 because our lives were supposed to go back to normal this year. ‘Just do this one more thing and we’ll be good’, they said. Or ‘after this, we can reopen’, they promised.

2021 was filled with false hope, moving targets and more unknowns that created unprecedented mental health struggles, pushing both adults and teens to the brink. From online schooling to lack of athletic pursuits and social connection, teens felt isolated, lost, and anxious.

“How can I motivate my teenager? They don’t care about anything.”

That’s the #1 question I get every day in my parenting communities and on social media. Parents watched their generally enthusiastic, outgoing, and reasonably successful teen slide into an unshakable numbness, not caring about anything anymore.

Caring parents just like you tried tough love, soft love, encouragement, consequences, punishment, and every other tool under the sun to motivate their teen, yet nothing worked. There were daily emails from teachers about missed classes and assignments and your teens spot on the team is at risk. Still, they don’t care.

You don’t have a motivation gap.

Motivation comes from the inside, not external prodding, and requires 2 precursors in this order:

  • Confidence – holding sufficient belief that success is possible
  • Safety – knowing the risk and price of failing

This means looking at your expectations of what a ‘good’ parent is, what a ‘good’ teen is and how their performance influences the way you feel about yourself. Using your teen’s external results for your own validation is a toxic equation of conditional love, even if that’s how you were raised and you turned out just fine.

So what’s the answer?

As a former troubled teen and mom of 2 young men, I’m passionate about empowering parents to end the emotional blow ups and painful disconnection with their teens to create relationships built on trust and respect.

I created a link to my most requested articles from 2021 filled with simple, proven steps for you to help your teen build confidence and find their way starting NOW!

Take me to the most requested articles of 2021

Thank you for allowing me to be part of your parenting journey this year. I wish you and your family improved communication, conversations, and connection in 2022.

PS. Mark your calendars!! My next LIVE Challenge – 5 Days to a Better Relationship with Your Teen starts January 10th and registration opens on the 4th. You don’t want to miss the program 1000 parents completed last year with RAVE reviews.

“That 5-day challenge helped me so much! It was so informative and I felt supported through the journey. I continued to use the handouts and refer back to my notes. The effect has been lasting well beyond the 5 days. Thank you!!” – Louise P.

Aly Pain

Growing up, I was the smart, fun girl on the outside and a frantic, anxious mess on the inside. I spent years healing the pain of dysfunctional family relationships, including eating disorders and a suicide attempt, to break the cycle raising my own teen boys.

Today, I’ve been happily married to my husband for over 23 years, and we have 2 incredible teen boys. My passion is empowering parents to build healthy, respectful relationships with their teens without giving up or giving up, even if they've tried everything and are at their wits end.

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